


Words I cannot utter

by TheUsagi1995



Series: With Sword and Scimitar our story is written... [4]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: And Joe is there waiting, Feelings, Getting Together, Guilt, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Immortals, Love, M/M, Nicky just needs some time to work through this, Pre-Movie: The Old Guard (2020), Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Short One Shot, Shyness, They love each other, because he loves him, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26366680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUsagi1995/pseuds/TheUsagi1995
Summary: "I am a man suspended between a past I seek to overcome and a future that has not yet been defined. How could I ever offer you what you seek?"Or Nicky is still struggling with his feelings for the word, for his newfound immortality and for Yusuf. He knows that he cannot bring himself to talk to the man. Perhaps there is another way for him to convey his feelings.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: With Sword and Scimitar our story is written... [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889575
Kudos: 53





	Words I cannot utter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Better_Than_Chocolate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Better_Than_Chocolate/gifts).



> It's almost four in the morning. Had a shitty day at work.  
> As always, writing is a comfort for me.  
> Please, please forgive me. I do not own The Old Guard and all mistakes are mine. Thus this story is written on my phone in about half an hour. I can't sleep.  
> I hope you are doing well.  
> Thank you for your time!  
> Thank you for reading!

" _ **Words I cannot utter..."**_

For nearly a year they had been traveling, pushing the horses to their limits, gripping the reigns so hard that the rough leather stripes bit on to the flesh of their palms. Both of them knew that they were compelled to leave Jerusalem behind them, and with it, all the things they had come to know and love.

* * *

Well. Except for one.

"I know you cannot bring yourself to say itoutloud, Nicolò, at least not yet." Yusuf uttered, his voice a wavering thread of hushed words and slow breaths. A few feet away from him, Nicolò lowered his head, taking his armor off of him bit by bit. "Just as I know that you reciprocate my feelings." Dark brown eyes drank the sight of that beautiful man as he continued to rid himself of his armour.

* * *

The crackling fire which was Nicolò's sole source of light and warmth flared as a plume of sparks emerged, twirling around the man. "Even if that were true, I am not worthy of you." Yusuf bit his lip, knowing better than to interrupt.

* * *

"I am a man suspended between a past I seek to overcome and a future that has not yet been defined. How could I ever offer you what you seek?" Nicolò's nearly mournful lament caused Yusuf's body to move on its own volition. In three long strides he was standing next to the pale faced man to whom he had been tethered by Fate. He sat on his heels, extending his arms to take a hold of Nicolò's fine armour.

* * *

"The past is behind you, but the future still lies ahead. I can wait for you to find the words to express yourself." Stormy blue eyes widened. "For how long?" Yusuf shrugged nonchalantly. "For as long as you need me to. As it would seem, we have quite a few lives to take advantage of." Silence leaped between the two warriors then, and the night engulfed them. "I may never find the right words to give voice to what I feel. Because this world is so vast I feel so lost in it. Because this war I served in as a soldier, was so unjustitcauseseverygoodintention I everhadtofadeawayintoamireofblood. Because our fate is beyond me. Because you are--" Nicolò cut himself off, averting his gaze from Yusuf's piercing one.

* * *

"I may never find the words, Yusuf." The confession was woven in fear and Nicolò's eyes fell closed. His body was not his own to command. The breeze chimed, swirling around the two men, as though it was trying to tear them apart. An incomprehensible amount of time later, a soft chuckle broke the deafening silence. "Perhaps Nicolò, words are of little use to you." Yusuf acknowledged as he gazed downward at something Nicolò ignored. Blue orbs followed the notion and witnessedanalltoo familiar gauntlet wrapped around Yusuf's lower arm. The knots held good and Yusuf's smile only grew. "Perhaps actions of sheer kindness come easily." Nicolò blinked, mouth agape. His hands were resting on to the gauntlet he had secured around Yusuf's taut muscles by instinct.

* * *

"Yes. I think you are right." Nicolò admitted in a low tone, eyeing the man who was still crouching next to him with a mixture of hesitancy and bewilderment. Yusuf had his words, but at that momet, Nicolò realised he had something to offer the man as well. The metal which was enclosing Yusuf's flesh had lost its glow, but it could still be an almost impenetrable shield against treacherous bandits. "Good night Nicolò." Yusuf offered, daring to push a stray lock of hair back from the man's forehead. "Good night... Yusuf." Nicolò muttered, leaning on to the touch momentarily. Once the warmth was gone, Nicolò stood, taking on the first watch for the evening.

* * *

If the next day another piece of Nicolò's armour found itself under Yusuf's care, well, one could assume it was meant to be there. It was simply yet another step, yet another beat in whose cadence Yusuf could hear Nicolò confessing his love; a love so ferocious that no words could convey.

* * *

_**The End** _

**Author's Note:**

> So here it ends.  
> I think it makes no sense. But I like it.  
> Please let me know if you did too!  
> My dear dear friend, this is for you... Even though you know next to nothing about the movie I believe you will still enjoy it!  
> I hope you will enjoy, although you deserve so much more than this... Still, it is written with all my love!  
> Until next time,  
> Love you all,  
> Usagi


End file.
